(с) http://soporaeternus.ru/int/battlehelmeng.htm
interview
by/bei Roy @ Battle Helm (www.battlehelm.com)
Q: I have
read various interviews with you, but for some reason all of them only deal
with the music of SOPOR AETERNUS. What do you think might be the reason for
this? Is it because you don't like to be questioned about your lyrics...,
because people don't dare to ask..., because they don't (want to) understand
them, or because they simply don't care about it at all?
A: Well, I
have to admit that I generally do not talk about my lyrics and I certain
haven't made it a habit of mine to explain them... -I do not even wish to.
However, I have experienced that those people (or beings), who are
"allowed" to understand SOPOR, will do so anyway, even without me
giving any explanations at all. Of course I am aware how very elitist this
might sound now, but on the other hand it wasn't me who came up with it,
-perhaps you could only say that I have chosen it- because this simply happens
to be the nature of things.
Furthermore, I believe that for everyone being (more or less) interested in
SOPOR, it is of the utmost importance to find their very own and individual
access to the musical pieces, without being influenced by any of my
"strange interpretations". Simply because otherwise a (relatively)
objective perception would become very difficult, if not totally impossible.
Amongst other aspects it is the duty of all ART, as I understand it, to help
the human species to get in contact with their true, or deeper self. Via the
medium of unconscious projection, the percipient should be enabled to realise
inner conflicts, or suppressed aspects of the psyche... -but this is no longer
possible, if the artist supplies the audience with his prefabricated pattern of
interpretation ?! Even the slightest suggestion can be disastrous already,
because often it proves very hard to get rid off those offered images, once
they have entered the conscious mind of the listener, and became almost
inseparable from the "object"... - or the music in our case.
Q:
Personally I have the impression that SOPOR AETERNUS is as much a spiritual/
philosophical project as it is a musical one.
A: Maybe
because there is not dividing line, not separation between Anna-Varney and
SOPOR... -as it is all one. SOPOR is what I am doing..., in fact, it is what I
am. At least, I like the idea of it.
Q: The
lyrics seem to be as important as the music. I suppose you take a lot of time
to write them? Do you write the lyrics after the music or is it the other way
around?
A: It
actually works both ways. It simply depends which one of the two aspects
"arrives" first. Generally speaking, it is the title of a piece that
I receive first, which - after all being the name of this piece- reflects the
very essence of it.
I believe
that there is a special intention working in secret behind all things as
nothing ever happens without a reason or motive. I also believe that it is so
for all lyrics and music... in a certain moment and position within the
continuum of space and time... a special melody or music is already assigned.
The consequence arising from this idea is the circumstance of having no real
choice regarding the selection, instrumentation and final sound of 'our' music,
-at least not when one has chosen truth as the criteria of the work- since its
appearance is automatically defined by our own individual way of being (i.e.
consciousness etc.)... in the very moment of the invocation of the song.
Indeed, the artist's interaction with her/his entire (spiritual) environment,
and with the lyrics, that is the name of the song or poem, actually seem to
create this definition.
If one keeps in mind that equal things always attract each other, allow me then
to illustrate these thoughts by using the following model:
Try to imagine an empty room. At its centre a peculiar source of light is
sending out its rays. This source of light shall be the essence of the song
upon which we have chosen to focus.
Attracted by the characteristically pulsating rhythm of this light, the perhaps
strangest, yet still corresponding entities, or energies, (however one prefers
to call them) enter the room as they follow our invitation, leaving their
traces behind whilst moving through it.
Those entities, or energies, are the exact equivalent to the instruments and
voices of the song. In fact, they do represent them.
If we take a closer look at the resulting scenario after a certain space of
time, that is, the room, the traces that have been left behind and the source
of light all together as a whole... then from this picture we may perceive a
symbolic equivalent of the moment when music and lyrics unite.
It is, of course, important to capture the very moment of the highest
intensity, in order to be as close as possible to the true essence of the song,
and therefore also to the emotion one attempts to express in the first place.
Q: In a
very old interview in a German metalmagazine (Witchcraft) you said that people
have to eventually start living. Yet your second CD is called
"Todeswunsch" ("Deathwish"). Is this title then merely
meant symbolically?
A: As I
said before, first of all I am writing for myself... - however, it is also most
important to understand that I am only writing about myself .... and I am doing
this exclusively! Within "my" music there is no conscious connection
or contact with the outside world, no-one else gets explicitly addressed. No
form of dialogue -or even a reaction- is expected, let alone wanted. It is far
more something like a constant refection or self-analysis.... -an inner
monologue of a (seemingly) isolated universe.
Unfortunately I have to admit that I cannot remember this particular interview,
you've just mentioned. However, you should better always keep in mind that the
gulf between the supposed knowledge of the rational intellect and the deeply
emotional actions of the ego exists (and works) within me as well! In other
words: on an intellectual level I might know in what rough direction my
(spiritual) aim is lying, but in order to eventually get there I have to go
through a certain amount of different stages ...., I have to make certain
necessary experiences. This (de-)tour is absolutely essential, if I want to
free myself from all the emotional/neurotic "deadwood". With every
(digested) experience another veil is falling from my eyes.... -yet all of
these experiences are inevitable!
Therefore, every now and then it might seem like there is a contradiction
between my words and my actions.
Q: The
lyrics on that second CD deal with spiritual failures, recollections from your
youth and (for the first time) your not knowing if you want to be male or
female. Things that many people wouldn't even dare to think about, let alone
writing entire songs about it.
A: Hm....,
maybe. However, I just do not have the choice here. I must face these things,
have to grapple with it... -at least, if truth is the (main-)criteria I have
chosen for the basis of my work/life.
Q: You
took the name Anna-Varney Cantodea... The first half clearly refers to your
transsexual identity. The second half seems to be a female form for the Latin
word for singer. Do I say anything wrong with that ?
A: No...,
not really.
Q: You
released a MCD with the title "Ehjeh Ascher Ehjeh". A phrase that
appears in the cabbalistic view of the world and that is given to the
manifested God. It literally means "I am what I am (and nothing
more)". The main topic on this MCD is your transsexual identity. It seems
as if you want to say that this is exactly who and what you are: of two sexes
.... or between the genders.
A:
Well..., maybe to a certain degree. Though it might not have been a truly
conscious decision exactly. Very often it is the case that only a long time
after the actual process of recording a specific song (or even an entire album)
I slowly begin to understand, what exactly it was that I have been
"informed" of ...., or what aspects have been expressed through it.
At first sight this might appear a little strange to you now, but it is
actually perfectly understandable -(yes, even quite logical)- when you keep in
mind that working with SOPOR is for the most part based on intuition. Every now
and then it can even happen that the process of learning, which has been
initiated the very moment I started working on an album, does not come near to
an end with the completing (or release) of a particular project. "Dead
Lovers' Sarabande - Face Two", for example, had been recorded last year,
but one "lesson" of it, symbolised by the last (instrumental) track
"Daffodils" (which, for some strange reason, had been the first track
of the album I received), manifested only in the March of this year.... -while
the daffodils were in full bloom!!!
Q: Do you
have any further interests in the Cabbala ?
A: I am
not really working with the Cabbala.
Q:
Regarding this doubt between wanting to be male or female, it seems that in the
past you felt an enormous disgust towards your masculinity, while your recently
released double-album "Dead Lovers' Sarabande" (Face One & Two)
seems to convey the impression of you accepting this situation.
A: Yes, I
had to walk the hard path of transsexuality, or trans-identity, in order to
slowly be reconciled again with my sex.... -and my gender to a certain degree.
When I banded the gender in the past, it always had a very neurotic character
to it...., but when I am doing it these days I realise that it is absolutely
free from fear or compulsion.
Q: The
pictures in the booklet of "Dead Lovers' Sarabande - Face Two" seem
to imply that you have indeed made your decision.... -that you have eventually
chosen your female side.
A: No, not
quite... -because, actually, it goes a lot further than this.
Q: Well, I
guess, this next question concerns a point that simply everyone, who has seen
the "nude" photos for "Va(r)nitas, vanitas", is absolutely
curious about: have they been manipulated ...., or are your lyrics not (just)
symbolically meant after all?
A: If you
are referring to my vagina, this part has been manipulated in the computer. As
I said, I have chosen the harder way, deciding against the operation and
hormonal treatment. This decision certainly wasn't an easy thing to do, but on
a spiritual level it proved absolutely necessary and of greatest importance! It
is a little difficult to explain, but every other way, every other decision
would have meant nothing but a dead end.
Q: Your
fifth release is called "Voyager - The Jugglers Of Jusa". I have
tried to figure this out, but so far without much success. Who are the Jugglers
and what do they represent ?
A: That is
funny, because I always thought that it is even more than obvious, what the
term Jusa actually stands for. After all -if you'd only take a closer look- it
is to be found on every single of SOPOR's releases. The album "Voyager -
The Jugglers of Jusa" was received & recorded during the most
difficult period of my transsexual search for identity, and I have to admit
that -after "The inexperienced Spiral Traveller" album- I consider it
the second worst of all our releases, neither fish nor fowl.... -much like
myself at the time. But, after all, this is hardly a surprise when you keep in
mind, that there is no separation between SOPOR and Anna-Varney...., since
whatever happens to one of half of it, affects the other one as well. But to
return to your question: what exactly is it, that a good juggler does, hm?!
Well, he whirls "things" around in the air .... and arranges them in
a different order .... without damaging any of the objects....
Q:
Throughout all of your CDs there are clear references to memories from your
youth. Apparently you (used to) have an imaginary friend.
A:
Maybe...
Q: Also
often you refer to the "lost lover". Sometimes I get the impression
that this is the imaginary friend too. But on the other hand this seems
unlikely, because there is more than just one reference to the fact that he
really was a homosexual lover.
A: Hm...
Q: In
earlier CDs we could read a lot about the demise of this lost lover, in
"Dead Lovers' Sarabande" we eventually learn about how he had died...
-a most tragic story.
A: Yes,
indeed.
Q: In your
lyrics you sometimes seem to meet an "old man", who gives the idea of
being (a symbol for) God. Is this true, or is he the imaginary friend as well ?
A: Forgive
me, but I am certainly not going to decipher my symbology for you now.
Q: When
you write about spiritual failures, you often use the symbolism of ancient
traditions. Do you have a deeper interest in those? I am only asking, because
you do more than well in describing these things in your very own terminology.
A: Well,
sometimes it is simply unavoidable to use certain archetypal symbols.
Q: The
uselessness of eyes is also a theme that you use quite often. I am not totally
sure what you mean by this. On the one hand, eyes are useless when you are in
total darkness .... and physical eyes are useless when you try and to see and
understand the spiritual world. Are you referring to the fact that our third
eye isn't yet opened.
A: Not
explicitly, no. However, the rest of your interpretation is rather good...
-thank you.
Q: Let us
move to a more lighter subject: the music of SOPOR AETERNUS. I often seem to
hear somewhat known melodies from traditional medieval songs. Do you like to
listen to medieval music a lot?
A: Not
really... -well, it depends on the mood I am in.
Q: What is
the reason that several songs appear in different versions on various releases?
A: That is
not hard to answer: because the inner conflict, that is either described or
hidden within a particular song, has not been fully digested, or dissolved....
-it sometimes becomes necessary to work on/with it again.
Q: Some
people, who like the debut-CD very much, complain that the music of the
"Todeswunsch"-album appears to be too happy. What do you think about
that? Personally, I severely disagree with people who say that. I guess they
are missing a certain type of melodies or lyrics.
A: I
honestly haven't got the slightest idea what people like or dislike about the
music of SOPOR...., but I also have to admit that I never even waste a thought
about all this. Though I do, of course, hope that people will like whatever I
am doing.... -that is only natural for an artist. Yet, I have to agree about
the apparent contradiction between the lyrics and the music of this particular
album. On the one hand the album is telling about pain, depression and
suicide...., but on the other hands the music, which comes along, appear to
convey almost exactly the opposite.... -at least, at first sight. Again, if you
think about it, it is very conclusive after all.
Q:
Musically "Dead Lovers' Sarabande" is very sad again, while the
lyrics seem to be more positive. Do you intentionally create this contrast
between the music and the lyrics?
A: Perhaps
it has been the language-barrier, the circumstance that one half of the lyrics
are written in German...., because I would not really describe the lyrics as
explicitly positive. On the other hand I also would not call the music sad.
When it comes to SOPOR, one should never take the songs off their context, after
all we are only making albums, not singles! I am placing a particular emphasis
on this, because it might be true, that certain isolated tracks are very
depressive...., the entire album on the other hand does never leave the
listener completely devastated! That is just not in my nature...
Q: On
"Dead Lovers' Sarabande - Face Two" this contrast is gone though. Not
only the music is very sad on this album, but the lyrics are extremely sad too.
A: Hm...
Q: The
amount of lyrics between the two parts of "Dead Lovers' Sarabande"
varies quite a bit. Sometimes I think that you are moving towards pure
instrumental/classical music.
A: Yes,
sometimes I hope that too.
Q: The
image that you created seems to have been carefully built up from the very
beginning. Is this true? Or did it merely grow like this naturally?
A: Because
this is a natural development, I never had to come up with a specific image...
-that is what"s so beautiful about it.
Q: Do you
think your music is so popular despite of this image, or because of it?
A: I
haven't got the slightest idea... -but, I guess, both of it is true.
Q: Which
each new CD the pictures contained in the booklets became less and less extreme
-(less grime, less piercings)- ,whereas some images of "Dead Lovers'
Sarabande - Face Two" strongly remind of the early days of SOPOR AETERNUS.
Do the pictures come with the lyrics maybe?
A: Of
course there is a relation between the lyrics and the pictures, after all they
represent the same .... "subject" ...., just on different levels of
conversion.
Q: As
briefly mentioned, the music of SOPOR AETERNUS went from a rough Batcave sound
to medieval music .... and now it is almost classical chamber-music. Is this
perhaps a direction you wish to continue?
A: Well,
basically yes. But, I am afraid, when it comes to SOPOR, these things cannot be
planned, really. They just appear or happen the way they .... hm .... have to.
Q:
According to rumours you also have another project, called WHITE ONYX
ELEPHANTS. Is this correct? Do you have plans with this one ....,or are there
any other projects you are currently working on (musical or otherwise) ?
A: Oh, the
WHITE ONYX ELEPHANTS are fine... -they're just sleeping right now. But I have
to disappoint you about my plans..., as I am certainly not going to reveal
them.
Q: Well, I
guess thirty questions is enough for one interview, isn't it? However, is there
anything else you'd like to say to our readers?